Friday, October 23, 2009

Da Mayor of Bonertown


I don't mean to be rude, Ms. Mayor, but you seem like you'd be real loud and obnoxious - as if you have been emboldened by a life of male attention thanks to your curvy figure and luciously large breasts. I can just imagine being at this party (I have to imagine these things nowadays), and having to endure you drunkenly interrupting some awesome conversation I was having, by slurring, "d'you know what?! My friend thinks you look JUST like that guy from That '70s Show! What's his name? Ellen! Ellen! What's that guy's name who you say this guy looks like..."

I'm sorry it's worked out that way - you may be interesting or have the potential for something greater than ogling, but as a man, I can just not get around your giant knockers and the horizontal stripe effect just isn't helping. I also have to admit that your poor taste in malt beverages and dye jobs does nothing to subdue my bone and only adds to my evaluation of your character.

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