Magic Hand Massager

$6.99 is not a bad price considering all you need to do to make it usable is disinfect it.

Cuties

Dear Chinese immigrants who work in meat and fish processing plants and sweatshops in hidden away industrial pockets of Vancouver:

You are way too fucking cute with your lunch rooms, lunch bags, tea/water containers, crackers and cookies and whatever other things you need to make the communal work lunch adorable and respectable in its sociability and pragmatism. If this was any of the lunch rooms I've worked in, it would be empty save for a few keep-to-themselves weirdos and a couple average Joes reading the paper. The rest of us spend our lunches with Terry at Subway, then smoke a joint in the parking lot afterward. Most lunch rooms I've been in have never seen a paper towel place-mat or trusted that no one would rip off your bag lunch.

Nein Homo

When I first saw this video,

his youthful charisma and fearlessness with his voice made me so excited that I got a boner - and made me imagine what my seed would look like exploding from my powerful ding-dong onto his guitar strumming hand.

No homo.

Gyeah!

From Stonesthrow Records' website: "Most people remember MC Eiht as the lead member of the group Comptons Most Wanted, or for his infamous MC battle with DJ Quik, or for his unforgettable role in the film ‘Menace 2 Society’ … but only the left coasters know and respect him as the originator of the phrase “Gyeah”, which has been bitten and jacked by every MC and rapper on the planet, including Jay Z."

I know a left coaster who not only knew that, but also used graphic design, and the post-modern art of media-collage to share this with the world on a CD cover in a reference that no one probably got. I know I didn't get the full understanding of the reference until just now. Clever.

Gyeah!

The Height of Comedy

This is pretty much as good as it gets for me. Everyone is like "argggh!!!!", and Alfred, he's like "yay!".



And with this one, it's like, "that doesn't make any sense," but I'm laffing my fucking ass off.

I bet people who see these covers and think, "that's not that funny" are people who I wouldn't get along with.