Call and Response

Call:

"I brush my teeth with amphetamines / So my breath stays fresh and sounds DOPE in between..."

Ras Kass said that. I didn't quote verbatim but he did emphasise the "dope". That line is so sick.

Response:

You sure he didn't say "Listerine"? See, I'm just not sure that if you want your breath to be fresh, that you should be using amphetamines. In fact, as far as I know, speed makes you mouth all dry and would more likely be a cause of bad breath, than a cure.

Capitalism BAD

This guy is really angry at the economic violence perpetuated by capitalism and the failure of governments to protect it's most vulnerable citizens from poverty and exploitation enabled by the corrupt system we all live under or whatever. Mainly he's mad at the system that forces him to spend $40 on a baseball cap.

"Like, isn't there some way we can bring down the price of vitally important branded merchandise without lowering the wages of the children that make them in the global south? I mean, clearly I'm willing to pay way more than I should for merchandise that carries certain cultural significance to the point where I don't remove labels so that other people don't have to wonder, 'wait a minute, that hat is on and all, but is it a NEW ERA 59FIFTY hat? Oh yeah it is, there's the sticker that proves it'. It just makes me so mad that I could spit, or at least patch together some kind of bizarre incongruous punk aesthetic where I've got a t-shirt that rails against 'the man', matched with a non-ratty jean vest to show how non-conformist and pissed I am at these global injustices or whatever."

There were 2,000 protestors at this protest and many of them were documenting the courageous rising up of 'the people' who were chanted the "whole world is watching" which brought tears to many eyes. They tried out the chant "1,999 photo bloggers are watching!" but it wasn't as catchy.

R.I.P. Turntablism

Caption Contest!

That's strange, the reading on the vaginameter says "what's that smell?"

Hittin' the Skinz

So on the one hand, I'm like, whatever Church's, - that used to be the regular deal, you didn't need a coupon for 10 for 10.99 a year ago - what gives?

But on the other hand, sometimes 10 pieces is what you need, and why not save the money?

Unofficial Stance on Wireless Communication

Let me put it this way: if "millions of electronic signals carrying data, voice messages and myriad internet signals to hand-held devices and other units with wireless receivers, but also coursing in and around your home and body" were a Facebook page or group, I wouldn't click "like" or join that group.

Just saying is all.

Wow

11010110011100101101101

Remember when computers were cool and just wanted to have a good time?

The Blue and White

I fucking Love London Drugs. Props to Mr. Louie for creating such a pleasant business. Competitive prices, EXCELLENT service, un-fucking matched anywhere else - everybody knows their shit at London Drugs.

Don't say anything bad about London Drugs.

Magic Hand Massager

$6.99 is not a bad price considering all you need to do to make it usable is disinfect it.

Cuties

Dear Chinese immigrants who work in meat and fish processing plants and sweatshops in hidden away industrial pockets of Vancouver:

You are way too fucking cute with your lunch rooms, lunch bags, tea/water containers, crackers and cookies and whatever other things you need to make the communal work lunch adorable and respectable in its sociability and pragmatism. If this was any of the lunch rooms I've worked in, it would be empty save for a few keep-to-themselves weirdos and a couple average Joes reading the paper. The rest of us spend our lunches with Terry at Subway, then smoke a joint in the parking lot afterward. Most lunch rooms I've been in have never seen a paper towel place-mat or trusted that no one would rip off your bag lunch.

Nein Homo

When I first saw this video,

his youthful charisma and fearlessness with his voice made me so excited that I got a boner - and made me imagine what my seed would look like exploding from my powerful ding-dong onto his guitar strumming hand.

No homo.

Gyeah!

From Stonesthrow Records' website: "Most people remember MC Eiht as the lead member of the group Comptons Most Wanted, or for his infamous MC battle with DJ Quik, or for his unforgettable role in the film ‘Menace 2 Society’ … but only the left coasters know and respect him as the originator of the phrase “Gyeah”, which has been bitten and jacked by every MC and rapper on the planet, including Jay Z."

I know a left coaster who not only knew that, but also used graphic design, and the post-modern art of media-collage to share this with the world on a CD cover in a reference that no one probably got. I know I didn't get the full understanding of the reference until just now. Clever.

Gyeah!

The Height of Comedy

This is pretty much as good as it gets for me. Everyone is like "argggh!!!!", and Alfred, he's like "yay!".



And with this one, it's like, "that doesn't make any sense," but I'm laffing my fucking ass off.

I bet people who see these covers and think, "that's not that funny" are people who I wouldn't get along with.

My Weiner is Non-Judgmental

The saying "love is blind" is incomplete. There should be a second part that goes, "and boners are blind to stupid haircuts".

Me: Is that a fucking UNDERCUT?!
My Boner: Huh? What?

RONDON DAYDREAM 03

RONDON DAYDREAM 02

RONDON DAYDREAM 01

"Yeah, Lil’ Wayne and Drake album"

Is this journalism?

“I went up to Rikers, and me and Wayne agreed that there will be a Lil Wayne/ Drake album,” Drake said. “There’s some things I’m excited for in my life — I’m excited to go perform certain places — but [this project] will probably be one of the most exciting things in my life, because we make music on a different level. It’s just so fun, so comfortable. A whole album? To think about all the things we can do, especially if we’re gonna do 15 songs. Me and him don’t like to do 12, 13 [songs]. We want to do 15, 16. Yeah, Lil’ Wayne and Drake album.”


Drake?! Not only has he had two hit singles and guested a bunch of times, he is the kind of musician - artist - who won't do 12 or 13 songs for an album. No, his creative output is so strong that he'll do 15 or 16 (including skits). Clearly the hyperbole of "The Best Collaboration That The Hip Hop Community Has Ever Heard?" is warranted. Calm down errbody, all the time.

Dear Blogger,

I noticed recently, after completing a blog entry, that after logging out, I'm taken to a page that reads "Logged Out".

I'm sorry to be a bitch about it, but don't you think it should say, "Blogged Out"? Cuz that's how I TOTALLY feel after blogging.

Your Friend in the blogsphere,

http://www.MutualJerkoff.blogspot.com